Saturday, December 27, 2008

Good Grief

I haven't blogged since Tim died. Since that time, I went through a weird depression. So weird, because I knew it was happening, and took control... talked to friends, but didn't feel like hanging out much, upped my depression meds a bit and spent sometime outside.

I'm in the process of creating whatever it is that Good Grief is going to be. I know Laurie and I will be at the next Relay for Life in memory of Tim selling stuff to make money for Cancer Research...and my husband purchased the Accucut Grandemark for me and $1000 worth of dies to begin creating journals to aid in mourners to journal their pain. I just don't know what else...I am sad and want to honor my friend and Beth, his amazing wife with a business that reflects what Tim and honest about his illness. And humorous...the most important ingredient. That's why my grief is GOOD.

Will add more later...I need to make this a habit again.
xoxo -e

Wednesday, September 17, 2008


This is the memorial service program...not sure if you can read it. Maybe right click and save to your pics, then open it in Windows pic and fax viewer and you can make it bigger - (with a PC).

And some more pics I had of Tim too...I miss you my friend.

Monday, September 8, 2008

He Gives and Takes Away

Around 7:15am Saturday morning, Tim saw a group of fuzzy faces that he seemed to recognize, his mom asked him if it was beautiful, what he was seeing, and he responded, "Oh yeah." He breathed his final breaths and he was gone.


I am sad as hell and overjoyed at the same time. Seriously. My friend, Tim Fadel, has been a confidant and the best person EVER to bounce stuff off of; my encouragement while creating a business of death and dying...he was my first "real" victim...don't be so serious, he said it himself...and he's gone.


He was my compass of sorts in this whole mess (hence, "erins mess") and as I sat beside his shell today, I held his hand and told him I loved him and then whispering, cried to him for a moment, "what am I going to do now?" I know Beth feels the same thing, as does Todd, Tina, mom and dad and his friends and the rest of his family. We're not blood in the physical sense, but he was closer than a brother.


It seems as though Tim was the compass for many of us who were dear to his heart. He was so easy to talk to. He didn't judge you. He listened and gave you honest feedback. He was real and there's so few real people out there. Maybe that's why I watch so much reality TV cause they are so real. (oh man. I rock with the jokes.)


Well, I just can't spill out everything within me in a stupid blog, but please pray for Beth and the kids. Pray for everyone else in the family also, but Tim was most afraid of Beth and the kids being loved the right way and feeling safe once he's gone.

What an amazing man I had as my friend. What a blessing that God made Tim a vital instrument in my future calling...That Tim encouraged me so much to do this death and dying gig that I have to do it. However, I am so scared without him holding my hand through it all.

The service is Friday at 2:00 pm, which will be held at New Hope Church in Clackamas. Please come if you knew him, Beth, Todd or Tina, but please come even if you only know of him through my bloggings and the caring bridge site. This is not a funeral. It's a memorial, celebrating Tim's life. We want it to be HUGE!!!

I pray that peace rules in your hearts today, and that you can remember him fondly as I'm sure he remembers you.

Sunday, August 24, 2008

Clean as a Whistle...what does that mean, anyway?

The wicked tooth hole is healing finally! No more pain meds. Vera suggests I eat a ton of watermelon and it will cleanse my liver. Done.

Tim is hanging on and is getting anti-social and thus we speak rarely right now. Beth and I talk every other day and it's been good to talk stuff out together about what the death thing is doing to them.

Chris' mom and husband come into town on Thursday and are staying a night before our departure to the yearly Cannon Beach adventure. I can't wait. I have cleaned my room to suit an Army know, the one who yells and then the guys stand at the ends of their beds and they get a once over and everything? Yeah. That guy. I've been soaking the tub and shower in Tilex with the window open and the bathroom fan on. If that stuff doesn't cause cancer, I don't know what does.

Cannon is adorable and scooting all over the place now, eating food from a jar and laughing out loud, usually at Flannery, or "sissy" as we call her. It's a Trish thing and I stole it cause I love that Trish.

Speaking of Trish, click on BACKSTAGE ORIGINALS on the right side of my page and check out her blog!

Peace, love and goodness, e

Thursday, August 14, 2008

Pain, pain, GO AWAY!!!

So my tooth broke in April. My wisdom tooth. I never have had a cavity or any sort of dental work done in my life, so I was scared, but called to get an appt. I was put on a waiting list and would have my tooth pulled in July, unless the pain got worse. It did. I was referred to Vancouver Oral Surgery and last Friday, I had the broken tooth and the one above it (another wisdom tooth) pulled. It was waaaaaay easier than I thought it would be and I would do it again.

Monday, the pain got real bad and the Vicodin didn't touch it, so I came in Tuesday morning and they diagnosed "dry socket," stuffed the hole full of Clove Oil-soaked gauze and I went home. Ahhhhh...relief. Until last night when the pain got worse. I looked at the clock every hour during the night. It was throbbing pain. This morning I touched my cheeck and it ached up to the front of my jaw.

I had Flannery hold my compact mirror for me and I took my tweezers and pulled the long piece of yellow gauze from the hole. (Turn away now if you hate this stuff...) The gauze was black at the end and it was covered in puss. Or is it spelled pus? I don't know. Flannery was freaked out and told me I was gross (nothing new) and I studied it and called the oral surgeon again.

I have an appt today in a few hours and I will be having my hole re-stuffed and hopefully put on antibiotics and another Rx of pain meds. This is bad. Eff you guys that said this was no big deal!!! Agh!

(Sorry for saying eff, mom.)

Kelly, Jon, Melissa, Josiah, Flannery, Camnnon and I went to vsit my mom in Coulee city for the 4th of July week! It was a long trip there, but we had so much fun! We hadn't seen mom or Tom since his October heart attack - not to mention my little (age 14) sissy Alice. We spent every day at the lake while mom kept an eye on Cannon. We swam and ate and laughed and talked and cried and ate some more. I can't believe how much I miss my mom. 5 hour drives suck.

What else....Tim is off oxygen because it irritates him. He's pushing himself a lot lately, just not caring if he feels weak...he's having fun with his family as much as his weak body allows. He even did a 3 legged race with Beth at Heritage Day. Sure he fell part way into it and then struggled to make it to the end, but he had fun doing it. Then he and I ended up in the living room at ma and pa Everett's watching old SNL; he out of breath and physically exhausted, me nursing my sore jaw from the previous day's surgery.

I went to TOM Fest with Kristen, Kelly, Melissa and Beth Fadel. It was good to see the oldies...I don't recognize about 90% of the attendees. I miss being in charge. At least I got some good time with Mikee and Vera. Bryan Everett and I got to sing backups for a Tragedy Ann Reunion; that's Mikee and Joshua Griffith's old band from 10 years ago...I can't believe it's been 10 years.


Cannon Dane is 6 months old today! He likes meat and veggies and fruit and of course formula and rice cereal too. He had meat for the first time on Heritage Day, when Bryan blended my chicken, beans and fried taters into a baby food-type consistency for my sore jaw. Cannon ate and ate it. He loved it! He didn't have any gassiness or pukiness, so I take it that he's ready...I went to Walmart and stocked up his cupboard. He is so much fun. He rolls and pulls himself around in a circle and sits up alright, but not fantasticly! My friend Christi Simonatti's little boy was born February 12th, and he does the same stuff. So, I guess Cannon is fine.

Kim's angel baby Sophie can almost walk and she's just 10 weeks older than Cannon, so I was worried that he was slow. Nope...she's fast. Well, that's cause she's part Japanese. And yes...I'm stereotyping. She's brilliant. We're part Danish and German. We're screwed.

Flannery goes into the 2nd grade in a few short weeks! She loves gymnastics and attends classes 2 hours a week. She wants to be a gymnastics teacher someday, she tells me. I am so proud of her. She also started reading chapter books. She gets impatient when we ask her to read for us, but when we don't ask her, we catch her reading all the time.

Well, that's it for now...I'll be writing more now that Can, Flan and I have a routine going. And once I get my jaw removed, I'll be more apt to blog. ;)

xoxo - e

Monday, June 2, 2008

Wednesday, May 14, 2008

Quick Blog & PICS

Flannery started advanced gymnastics 2 weeks ago and performed her first bridge-kickover. I snapped a picture...though the lighting isn't very good. Now she can't stop!

Cannon is amazing. He laughs out loud and talks all the time. We all enjoy him so much!

Wednesday, March 12, 2008

4 weeks post partum

We never made it to the beach. Flannery woke Monday with a fever and it finally broke today. She’s missed 3 days of school, the same 3 we were counting on her missing if we left, no beach. She’s the last one of us to get this "illness" - whatever it is and was, so at least we can be germ free for a while, hopefully.

Cannon is amazing. He’s so alert and even smiles when I make a big smile face at him or tickle him on the neck. He coos and makes all sorts of sounds when I talk to him. So cute. Have I already said this? Being 33 with a baby is cake compared to being 26. I am loving it.

Chris turned 33 today. We were supposed to hit Newport Bay with his family, but with Flannery still on the mend, we opted out this week.

My tooth broke off the other day. I was watching a movie with Chris at home and my tooth literally fell apart. I wasn’t even eating anything. It’s a wisdom tooth, way in the back that the dentist told me to have removed a few years ago and I was too scared. I’m still scared, but I have no choice now. So, since the moment it fell out, almost 2 weeks ago, (I put off the dentist visit so we could go to the beach...whoops), I’ve had a bad sinus infection on the left side of my face. It’s tooth related. So annoying.

Well, I still have pain on the left side of my woman parts (internal woman parts) from the Tubal Ligation. The uterine stuff from the C-Section hasn’t bugged me since week 2 of recovery. I feel great and would do it again if I was miraculously made pregnant. C-Sections rock.

Thanks everyone for the prayers and the love...peace.

Wednesday, January 23, 2008

The year thus pictures.

NEW YEARS PARTY at The Everetts and Griffiths...hosted by Mikee and Vera Bridges!



So...I apologize for not blogging, but hopefully this has caught you up on the year so far...AND my C-Section is scheduled for Valentines Day! Whoo Hoo!

Thursday, January 3, 2008

It's time to get up....It's Christmas Morning!!!

This is my favorite pic from Christmas Morning at our house...I captured the "look." (It was High School Musical 2, by the way.)

It snowed BIG TIME in Milwaukie when we went to Chris' dad's house after opening presents at home. The kids loved it, but Chris and Kevin loved it more!

My sweet brother in law, Kevin...

Len (Chris' dad) gave Chris a coat and hat to wear, and then threw in a rifle for good measure. I'm scared he might buy Chris some cowboy boots soon, as he kept commenting on how good Chris looked in a Cowboy hat. I wanted to yack.

Christmas day was so relaxing and fun and adding the snow just made it even better.