I'm a mess. I awoke today feeling that I needed to call Trishy. I did. I learned that her father has been diagnosed with aggressive prostate cancer. No details yet, but there it is. A big fat "BOOM" lands in her lap and I can only cry...no, weep for my friend. She and I both have an adoration for our fathers that little girls seem to have, batting their eyes and holding his finger...crawling up in his lap and getting the world in his eyes. We share that crazy affection and admiration and love for our daddies. And this sucks. Cancer is so bad. I can't say any more without adding several expletives and such to convey the rage I feel against cancer...but in a mixed audience, I digress.
Sure, I'm waving her family business out there...but I know 4 people who read the blog and well, I need you to pray for my friend as she goes through this. I need prayer for her daddy, that he is healed. That the treatment will be more than effective. That he, is wife and kids can cope with this yucky reality. Dad has cancer.
So, I wept a lot today. Thought about my sweet Trish and thought about Laurie's battle with cancer - Hodgkin's Lymphoma. I remember getting the call from her. I was vacationing at the beach with the family. I was in shock. I went for a drive, tuned into a crappy mixed music station and heard for the first time that sad country song (not familiar with artists in that genre) about going Skydivin', Rocky Mountain Climbing...etc. I bawled. Oh my God. Oh my God. I prayed...I planned...I thought through being there for her, for every treatment. Maybe she wouldn't want me. Or ask me.
(Excuse the old picture...1993, me and Laurie and a trip to Sears. No, we're not lesbians...looking back, it seemed that friends should do this sort of thing.)
I lived in Gov't Camp, OR then, about 60 minutes from her...and she didn't choose me. She chose Kim. But God knew better. He knew I'd be there for her. Kim was scared and later talked about it as just feeling "freaked out." We totally get that. Everyone is different.
So I went. To every chemo (I think I missed one?). To every doc appt...and the majority of her follow ups and she is healthy and in remission. It was a long road, with a lot of tears, nausea and laughter. Cancer. Dumb.
Then there was Tim. My face contorts and becomes drenched at the typing of that sentence. He was so...Tim. Gentle. Hilarious. Faithful. Loving. Smart. Nuts. Beautiful. And he died. I had been his friend for 12 years or so. For awhile he was one of my closest male friends. He was in my wedding. He killed a bee with his bare hands when it wouldn't leave my booth in 1997 at Tom Fest. Seriously. A bee.
He and his wife asked me to work with them in the planning of his memorial service. It was wonderful...and it played out even better that we had planned. I someday want to see the video that was filmed that day. It was as if he and I orchestrated a magnificent piece of music together and he died with the last stroke of a piano key. I loved him. His spirit was so pure and he knew Jesus...knows Jesus. He saw heaven. He's healed after 5 long years of sickness, dreadful cancer and pain... Thank you Jesus.
I hate this disease. But I have faith enough to allow hope to penetrate through all of its muck and mire. Someday they'll all be healed. And I'll one day get to hold Tim's hand again.