I always want to be something more. Chris pointed this out to me when I sat here and made a list of all the projects and businesses I have started and all the things I want to become.
I want to be a crisis counselor, a grief counselor and a certified funeral director.
Good Grief is my death and dying business...we also do Relay for Life every year. I love working with the terminally ill and planning their funeral/memorial services. I love to comfort the grieving.
I want to be a published writer in the style of Anne Lamott. Stories of my own life, reflections and such. I'm great at that.
I want to be a popular face in the scrapbooking industry with Trish Hafer. I want Back Stage Originals to take off and become hugely popular...tour the country with our product and teach classes.
I want to be Mikee Bridges' assistant again. The festivals and shows...I was so good at that job. I am fantastic at organization, memory and deadlines. He's moved to Ventura, and it's not exactly a possibility, but I still have that desire.
Chris brought up the idea that right now, I am a wife and mother. I'm good at it. Why can't this be my first priority? Why do I fight it?
Today, I decided to make it my priority. I did my chores, did a little extra, made a list for summer activities, made dinner and really feel great about it.
I know that God knows my future and He didn't give me these dreams and desires to just sit and make me miserable. I may indeed become a funeral director, travel with Trish and fly in and help Mikee with events. I might start writing again. But to take the focus off of everything and "be present" (thanks Oprah), I felt a huge weight lifted off of me.
I think I can breathe again. Thanks Chris. I love you.