Thursday, September 30, 2010

Shame...

My dad is going through a lot right now. He just blogged about the guilt and shame he feels and a dear friend of mine read it and wrote me this, which impacted me greatly. I hope you'll see the power in it like I did. It brought me to tears.

"ugh! my heart aches for him. shame. ugh. fuck shame. that is a tool of the devil and i am not kidding. shame is such an ugly blanket that snuffs out our joy and robs us of our breath. i totally get how your dad feels -- that goddamn shame. seriously. God damn it. shame fuels so many things that either paralyze us or push us into a deeper cycle of self loathing. i am covering your dad in prayers and asking God to lift the blanket of shame off of his head and allow your dad to breathe again. he is not his shit. he is God's child and there is zero shame associated with that. i pray that the Lover of his Soul will remove the scales that cover your dad, like when c.s. lewis writes about king peter turning into the dragon and the scales need to be peeled off and it hurts, but in the end, he returns to his original self. God. Please. Help. we are begging and not being humble about it. we come to You boldly. rescue your child. show him his image in you. remove the shame. remove the guilt. remove the should haves, would haves, could haves and replace them with the HEART knowledge that he is Yours and nothing can take that away. God let your child know his identity rests in You and nothing else. i ask you carry your child and nurture him back to health. i pray you protect his marriage, save his house, bring him into where he needs to be to experience and live in joy. You are the Great Healer and the Master of our hearts. we thank You God for hearing our cries and listening. thank you for loving Jeffrey. thank you for his life. thank you for loving us. we ask You speak loudly and breathe into him! rescue Your son and heal him. we love You God and we pray this in Your Son's Name, Amen."